May 2013
you know parents make such a big deal about explaining homosexuality to their children but when I was a kid I watched a show where one of the villains was a satanic cross-dressing lobster and never once questioned it
you know what it fucking sucks when you have so many books to read but school keeps getting in the fucking way and you just get homework everyday and it’s like goddamn it motherfucker i juST WANT TO FUCKING READ MY BOOKS I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SCHOOL I WANT TO READ MY FUCKING BOOKS
shh-im-in-my-mindpalace:
thatpsychowriter:
thetenthdoctah:
ophilinonoo:
dude can you imagine before the fall like two office angels hanging around the water cooler in the break room. “so what’s on your list of things to do toda- hurufhjgghh”
I SHOULDNT BE LAUGHING
In which every angel yells, “DADDAMNIT CAS, NOT AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN—”
DADDAMNIT.
eyeslikecominghome:
a commercial for dominos was just on and i guess i was lovingly staring at the tv because my mom says to my dad “i wish you still looked at me like haley’s looking at that pizza”
bmoburns:
oomshi:
soup that tastes great is souper
may i interest you in a bowl of canned u not
Doctor Who fandom: WE ALL SHOULD EAT FISH FINGERS AND CUSTARD, SOUFFLÉS, AND JAMMY DODGERS JUST LIKE ON THE SHOW!
Supernatural fandom: Pie and whiskey over here!
Sherlock fandom: Just tea for me thanks.
Hannibal fandom: we would like to have you all for dinner
pizza:
poo-sex:
sometimes i wonder what goes through people’s heads before they create their URL
wise words from tumblr user poo-sex
largebeard:
foodchewer:
*hides good snacks from family members*
andrewpauldost:
i just saw a post like “kids these days dont even know what a vhs is” like why do people think kids of modern day dont know about past events like i know what fucking morse code is but i dont use it to order a pizza
sorryforpartybarackin:
im no cactus expert, but i know a prick when i see one
straight-as-a-curly-fry:
When i die i want my ashes to be mixed into paint so somebody can paint a picture of me and my kids can turn to their grandkids and be like ‘This picture is your grandma’, and it’ll literally be their grandma
manicpixiedeathbitch:
Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the stone
Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the chamber
Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the dementors
Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the triwizard tournament
Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the returning
Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the creepy...
teeeeen-idle:
selling our soul to this website was probably in the terms and conditions that we didn’t read
mywickedway:
i hope the people who grade my essays don’t laugh at me
gatzzby:
hannahsneakers:
why don’t they have big hyped up award shows for books
i mean
best male/female character
best antagonist
best plot development
best plot twist
come on
#book you threw across the room the hardest
miss-nerdgasmz:
What ship do you think I’m the child of?
#oH FUCKING YES #PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE I’M SO CURIOUS #CROSSOVERS COUNT BTW LIKE IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE A STANDARD SHIP OR ANYTHING#WHICHEVER PEOPLE YOU THINK MADE ME
patrick-stump-hand:
pizzaswag:
abandoned theme parks look rad as fuck someone go explore one with me
you are the first five minutes of supernatural
orgygami:
when theres a long intro before a music video
musicalhogwarts:
batdude:
in harry potter we don’t say “i love you” we say “LILY TAKE HARRY AND RUN GO I’LL HOLD HIM OFF” which roughly translates to “james potter is better than your sorry ass” and i think that’s beautiful
#i don’t care who you ship lily with #but if you try to tell me james never really loved lily #or she /deserved/ to be with someone different #i’ll probably shit in your...
Reblog if you think the next disney prince should...
monkeysaysficus:
bloodphoenix:
kansasprincess97:
oh-hi-hoe:
sleepingwithsharma:
4 million and counting
5 million
This should get to 10 million, come on people.
Always reblog when it comes up on my dash.
12 million! Disney can’t say no!
14 million ! whohoo!
j
Is that Dean and Castiel?
omf IT IS!
bubblelumps:
1000notes:
comedraco:
twyll:
good posts with a long string of terrible comments
good posts with a self promo from lolsofunny and sodamnrelatable
This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.
zeloismybaby:
kindred-spiritss:
hamfarto:
dildos-and-debutantes:
rescuerhera:
thejoshinator:
mpregbert:
ghostgiggles:
if you play an instrument youre automatically 10x hotter im sorry thats just how the world works
how the fuck do you play the mayonnaise
ask Patrick Star
catswithbenefits:
a spider is just a land octopus
twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck:
happybutts:
peacocks look like they speak french
theyellowbrickroad:
money doesnt buy happiness but i cant say id be upset in the least bit if i suddenly inherited 5 million dollars
nahthatsnotveryraven:
SOMEONE ON THE STREET BELOW MY OPEN WINDOW IS HOLDING AN ACTUAL BOOM BOX PLAYING I BLESS THE RAINS DOWN IN AFRICA AND SCREAMING “TAKE ME BACK LINDA” WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
everyone: thor don't do the thing
thor: I'm gonna do the thing
everyone: loki don't do the thing
loki: I did the thing fifteen minutes ago but will pretend that I did not do the thing
dntfearthereaper:
Restraining yourself from making inappropriate jokes in a new friendship because you don’t know if they’ll laugh or start running away
daddyfuckedme:
wouldn’t it be cool if jellyfish floated around in air instead of water but they didn’t sting you instead they gave you little kisses and rubbed your forehead with their tentacles
shannananan:
mercimonamie:
i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.
oh my god you managed to one up john green.
me: whoa it sure is late, time to go to be-
me: is that a 30,000 word fanfic
richwhitelesbian:
he’s makin a list
checkin’ it twice!
gonna find out if you’re middle class and white
selfdoubtandsyphilis:
dankestrnemes:
do animals think in english or in the sounds they make
this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
reading-passion:
Isn’t it the worst feeling ever if you see someone holding their book like this
julietspencers:
fetuses do not think
they do not “scream out” when they are aborted
they have no brain function and no nerve endings until long after the deadline for a legal abortion
they aren’t “sad” when you abort them
they do not “realize what is happening”
And these aren’t my beliefs, they’re scientific facts
physicalvocalist:
fallen-angel-in-the-tardis:
lembas-and-cram:
concernedresidentofbakerstreet:
rendezvousramen:
addictedtopunsandpizza:
macaronivevo:
jesuschristvevo:
is it data or data
is it route or route
is it caramel or caramel
is it either or either
is it read or read
is it lead or lead
Maybe its Maybelline
I hate how any English speaker knows exactly what’s...
